Parent Resource: “The Ology”

For Christmas, our family was given a copy of Marty Machowski’s , The Ology. This easy to understand book collects the foundational truths of scripture and presents them in digestible chunks for  young and old minds alike. If you are looking for a simple way to
 teach your children (and maybe educate yourself) on the life-giving truths in God’s Word, I highly recommend this book for several reasons:

First, the beautiful pictures engage  and help teach the youngest members of your household. Our two year old asks, “Can I see?” This means that as you cycle through the book’s contents, you will be reinforcing ideas that the youngest minds have already been familiar with.

Second, the clearly and simply articulated biblical truths are collected into logical groups. My family goes through one  “ology” each day during a meal together and makes a game of seeing if we can remember each topic in each grouping… in order. It’s amazing how quickly kids can learn these key ideas.

Third, each truth topic is supported with two to four Bible passages that support the topic along with additional listings of verses for further study. This means that the book can be read through many times and expanded as your family grows.

As the short story prefacing the book says, these are “ancient truths, ever new”. You will be encouraged by the questions and family discussion that grow out of your reading.

 

Book Review: Checking Cultural Baggage

As  Christian parents who believe in the truth, beauty and power of God’s Word, we have a profound interest in the careful study and application of the Bible. While the most important truths of scripture are “low-hanging fruit”, much of scripture is subject to misinterpretation for various reasons, not least of which is our modern western culture’s distance from the culture of  the ancient Near-East in which the Bible’s authors wrote.

In teaching our children to discover what the authors (and the Author) of the Bible intended, it is helpful to identify our own unspoken assumptions and beliefs about life and reality that color our biblical understanding. Misreading Scripture with Western Eyes (E. Randolph Richards & Brandon J. O’Brien, IVP Books, 2012) is very helpful in this regard. I found the book a readable”conversation starter” in the continual project of  accurately studying and applying scripture. Recognizing the necessary limitations  of their project,  the authors admirably attain the goal stated in their subtitle: Removing Cultural Blinders to Better Understand the Bible. 

Each chapter of the book concludes with action steps to begin addressing the “cultural blinders” discussed in that section along with questions intended to provoke additional thought or conversation. A helpful list of additional resources toward the end of the book addresses the issues brought up in each chapter.

• Part One: Above the Surface
  • Social Mores
  • Race & Ethnicity
  • Language
• Part Two: Just Below the Surface 
  • Individualism & Collectivism
  • Honor/Shame & Right/Wrong
  • Time
• Part Three: Deep Below the Surface
  • Rules and Relationships
  • Virtue and Vice
  • Finding the Center of God’s Will

Misreading Scripture  has an additional benefit for Christian families committed to true Christian community: reminded of our own cultural limitations and presuppositions, we can more humbly receive the cultural differences of fellow believers in the spirit of genuine Christian love and unity founded on the Gospel rather than on cultural similarity. Additionally, we see the core of the Gospel more clearly and can be freed from non-essential (or erroneous) “western-isms” so that we can engage people from other cultures and connect them to the Jesus of the Bible who draws “all men to himself”.

 

God & Grammar

I am thankful for the little numbers that have been added to my Bible. In general the chapter and verse numbers are extremely helpful. However, when we come to study the Bible, the placement of the chapter and verse breaks can prevent us from seeing what the Author/authors intended to communicate. Thankfully, there are some “magic” words in the text that can help us and our children see past the little numbers to what God has to say to us.

When Paul wrote to Timothy that scripture is “God breathed”, he meant that it has divine origins and is therefore powerful in a way that human-conceived writings aren’t. But, there’s a second amazing truth hidden there too: God has communicated his divine, eternal thoughts in a way that the human mind can comprehend and be affected by. Which brings us to… grammar!

Grammar’s Secret Origins
Like Superman, Grammar is not of this world. Grammar is rooted in God’s essential nature: loving relationship. After all “in the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.” We can have confidence then that since language is rooted in the nature of God, his thoughts can be received in every language! Grammar gives us the keys to understanding them.

How grammar helps your family understand the God of Everything’s Thoughts.
In a word, conjunctions,  the “magic” words I mentioned above (examples: therefore, for, as, but, and, or, neither, nor, and, yet, since, so, etc.) Conjunctions show how ideas are connected and therefore they help us see past the “little numbers” when they are being unhelpful. Look for conjunctions across paragraph, chapter and verse breaks to show if and how two ideas are connected.

So many conjunctions: an example from Matthew 7:7-12
These verses contain 3 sections that are fairly well-known individually. However, by noting the conjunctions, (two in particular), we are able to 1) avoid “verse break syndrome”, 2) protect ourselves from “section heading-itis, and 3) discover the big idea in the passage.

In verse 7 Jesus gives us the famous command, “Ask, and it will be given to you…”.  In verse 9 he says “Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread will give him a stone?” And finally in verse 12 he gives the “Golden Rule”, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them.

Perhaps you are like me, familiar with the passages individually but unaware that they are intended to be understood as a unit. We kind of get the “Golden Rule” and the “Ask, Seek, Knock” part although kind of mysterious could be connected to prayer, and sure, I’m not going to give my kid a snake instead of a fish but how do these relate?

The Power of “OR”
The conjunction “or” in verse 9 tells us that vv.7-8 are analogous to vv.9-11. They are talking about the same thing in two different ways: when you ask God for what you need won’t he give to you what you ask for? So far so good…

At this point, my Bible (and yours too, probably) unhelpfully interjects a paragraph break and the heading “The Golden Rule”. But wait! There’s another conjunction: so!

SO what?
By employing the word “So”, (similar to “therefore”), Jesus is giving a reason for why you do for others what you wish that others would do to you. It’s not just a selfless act to make a kinder world, it is an act based on our understanding that God will provide for our needs so we provide for the needs of others. In essence, we become a pipeline of God’s material care for humanity because we are assured of the loving provision of our perfect Heavenly Father. The reason makes all the difference and emphasizes our life-giving connection to God!

Family Excercise:
Read Matthew 6:22-23 together. Entertain ideas about what it means, scratch your head and say “huh?”. Then read from v.19 through v.34. Pay attention to the conjunctions and see if you can figure out a contextually grounded, grammar-wise interpretation…and the big idea. P.S. Ignore those pesky, little numbers, paragraph breaks and section headings.

 

 

Part 3: “The Conversation”: Clearing a path

As parents who follow Jesus, we want to communicate to the children God has given into our care that our Father in heaven knows them and has a plan for their life.  We recognize that human sexuality is a gift from God and that he has purpose in how we are made: male and female. This article is part of a series to help you think in a God-honoring, biblical way about when and how to discuss matters of sexuality with your children.

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Part 1 and Part 2 presented a rationale and principles for discussing sexuality with your children in biblical frame of reference. In this article, I identify some lies parents are taught and that we tell ourselves that undermine our role in equipping our kids to live the joy-filled life that God calls them to, especially in the area of sexuality and relationships.

The World’s Cultural Program
Christianity assumes a supernatural worldview that recognizes an unseen, but actual spiritual realm coinciding with our own. This reality is communicated throughout all 66 books of the Bible (Colossians 1:16). Additionally, there is clear teaching that humanity can fall under the influence of spiritual beings in rebellion against God as well as to a “world system” designed to distract and ensnare (Matthew 5:37, Romans 12:2, Luke 16:8, John 15:18, to list a few).

As followers of Jesus who are also parents, we should take the Apostle Paul’s command in Romans 12:2 to heart—not to be conformed to the world’s mold, but transformed by the renewing of our minds through God’s word.We need to take 2 Corinthians 10:5 as a core parent-discipling reality by examining the messages that come into our homes and into our own lives which may or may  not be in line with the Kingship of Jesus.

Lies parents are taught and some we tell ourselves 

• “Leave it to the Experts” This is an easy one to get trapped with because we want what’s “best” for our children. This lie comes in various shades such as “School teachers are better equipped to teach my children and the slightly more spiritual, “It is the job of the pastoral staff/youth leaders to equip my children”. As discussed in the last article, parents are appointed to their role. It is not merely a biological mistake. We can delegate authority but not responsibility. No expert will be to your children what God has uniquely called you to be

• Kids just need more information and they will make good choices. This “data-driven” wisdom model is an empty promise. I personally aware of two individuals who began destructive behaviors because they read about them, in one case in a Christian magazine article speaking against the practice. Wisdom is a relational project. The “awe” of God is where wisdom starts. A quick overview of Proverbs reveals phrases like “listen to me, receive my words, the Lord gives wisdom”. Simply giving a book or showing a video does not provide the context needed for wisdom to grow in your child’s heart.

• “Parent obsolescence is inevitable” This is inline with “Boys will be boys” or “Kids just need to make their own mistakes”. Conversely the bible says that “one generation will proclaim him to another”. The Biblical model of family and the church as a new family focuses on the mature building up the immature until ALL are mature (Ephesians 4:11-13)

• “I will wait until just the right moment”. There is no “moment”, just one on-going human-making process, not something totally different and new — a continuum not a “moment”.

• “My past excludes me from speaking on this topic with a clean heart”. This lie can potentially take a parent “out of the game” particularly if their own sexual experiences were not God-honoring. Remember though, you are not appointed to be a parent because you are perfect but because God has placed you in that position for the good of your child. Repentance, confession, forgiveness, freedom, and newness of life are part of the “Good News” about Jesus. Never allow your past to prevent you or your children from living a glorious present.

• “The way I did things turned out okay so I am a reliable model apart from the gospel”. This is the opposite of the above deception. You cannot replicate your experience in the life of your child. “Do not put the LORD your God to the test”. God’s mercy through your disobedience or ignorance is not grounds to stand aside as your child’s protector.
• “My child’s life experience will be similar to mine” This is a passive lie because it unwittingly influences many of our parenting decisions. A few examples are sufficient to demonstrate the point.
  • Religion in general (and Christianity in specific) plays a greatly diminished role with limited cultural authority, and is widely viewed as purely subjective and personal.
  • Behavior now defined as “good” and “normal” would have provoked shame and outrage a few decades ago.
  • Inversely, there is increased animosity and intolerance for those who promote modesty, limitations, or objective truth.
  •  Cultural norms over marriage, divorce, single-parenthood, have radically altered due to media and technological changes.
  • With shifting attitudes about sexuality concepts like“dating” are unmoored from cultural norms and protection resulting in the rise “the hook-up”, cohabitation, and “open” relationships.
  • Something as foundational as a binary concept of gender is mired in an increasingly disorienting sea of individualized acronyms and sub-definitions.
  • Hyper-sexualization has led to the rise of body image-related disorders.
  • Technological changes alter the shape of human society, friendships, addiction, self-control, meaningful communication and accountability.

• “We are raising godly children so situation x won’t happen to them.” I doubt that any of us actively think or say this one, but I think that deep down we believe God “owes” us a pain-free, struggle-free, parenting “experience”. As one Christian mother said, ‘We are not called to raise Christian children. We are called to BE Christian parents”. We must be faithful to “observe everything that I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:20), trusting that God works through us and will work in the lives of our children. This should draw us into deep and faithful prayer for our kids and the other children and parents in our church family.

• “Marriage is the ultimate fulfillment of the human life.” This last one might be a surprise, but in talking about God’s plan for sexuality we have to think broadly and prepare our children for whatever life God calls them to. In Matthew 19, Jesus affirms both married and unmarried disciples and was himself unmarried & childless. Paul commends both marriage and singleness. We want our children to pursue holy living and sexual purity whether married or unmarried. The ultimate fulfillment in life doesn’t come from a romantic relationship or even in a committed marriage. The ultimate fulfillment comes when our heart finds its home in the love of God through the person and work of Jesus Christ. 

In the next article, I’ll give some practical “nuts and bolts” on how to organize your meeting times with your student(s). I’ll also list (in a logical order)an outline of topics that you may wish to discuss with you children around the topic of sexuality.

WHAT THE GOSPEL REQUIRES AND . . .

I have been blessed and challenged by Voddie Baucham, teacher at Grace Family Baptist Church in Texas. He’s written several excellent books (including Family Driven Faith which many of the VBC dads have read). In this article, Mr. Baucham addresses why it is important (both as a disciple of Jesus as well as a parent-shepherd) to understand the distinction of the gospel requirements and products to prevent confusion leading to  either “sterile works-righteousness on the one hand or to lawlessness on the other.”

-Nathan

THE PHYSICS OF PRAYER

Continuing on my study of prayer, I came across this sermon from John’s gospel by John Piper that is well worth watching/listening to. Here’s a nugget from the heart of his message.

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By looking at John 14:13, 15:7-8, 15:16 and comparing them to each other, we get the following “equation”:

• When we abide in Jesus’ we will bear fruit (Jesus-likeness) and then,
• we will ask for anything in Jesus’ name and,
• God will do it so that,
• God can be glorified and,
• Our Joy may be full

The two-fold purpose of prayer seems to be (a) glory for God and (b) joy for us. How is that possible?

Psalm 37:4 says it clearly: “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” When we have the mind of Christ we desire what he does “Hallowed by YOUR name, YOUR kingdom come, YOUR will be done”. The ambition of the Son is the Father being glorified (14:13). It’s why he uses the word “that”—we would say “so that”—and the way Jesus accomplishes this is by answering the Son-like requests of his disciples to bear fruit. To put it another way, when a disciple who thinks and acts like the Son, asks like the Son, the Father says “yes!”.

 

–Nathan

6 BIBLICAL MOTIVATIONS FOR GOSPEL FAITH

Gary Darnell forwarded this to the ministry leaders and I thought it would encourage you. He condensed this list from an article by D.A. Carson  entitled “Motivations to Appeal to in Our Hearers When We Preach for Conversion”.

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1.Sometimes the appeal is to come to God out of fear of judgment and death.
Hebrews 2:14-18 speaks about Christ delivering us from the bondage of the fear of death. In Hebrews 10:31, we are told it is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

2.Sometimes the appeal is to come to God out of a desire for release from the burdens of guilt and shame.
Galatians 3:10-12 tells us when we are under the curse of the law. Guilt is not only objective; it can also be a subjective inner burden on our consciences (Psalm 51). If we feel we have failed others or even our own standards, we can feel a general sense of shame and low self-worth. The Bible offers relief from these weights.

3.Sometimes the appeal is to come to God out of appreciation for the “attractiveness of truth.”
In 1 Corinthians 1:18, Paul states that the gospel is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to those who are being saved it is the power of God. Yet, immediately after this statement, Paul argues that the wisdom of the cross is the consummate wisdom. Paul is reasoning here, appealing to the mind. He is showing people the inconsistencies in their thinking (e.g., “your culture’s wisdom is not wisdom by its own definition”). He holds up the truth for people to see its beauty and value, like a person holding up a diamond and calling people to admire it.

4.Sometimes the appeal is to come to God to satisfy unfulfilled existential longings.
To the woman at the well Jesus promised “living water” (John 4). This was obviously more than just eternal life–he was referring to an inner joy and satisfaction to be experienced now, something the woman had been seeking in men…

5.Sometimes the appeal is to come to God for help with a problem.
There are many forms of what Carson calls “a despairing sense of need.” He points to the woman with the hemorrhage (Matthew 9:20-21), the two men with blindness (Matthew 9:27), and many others who go to Jesus first for help with practical, immediate needs. Their heart language is, “I’m stuck; I’m out of solutions for my problems. I need help for this!” The Bible shows that Jesus does not hesitate to give that help, but he also helps them see their sin and their need for rescue from eternal judgment as well (see Mark 2:1-12; Luke 17:11-19).

6.Lastly, the appeal is to come to God simply out of a desire to be loved.
The person of Christ as depicted in the Gospels is a compellingly attractive person. His humility, tenderness, wisdom, and especially his love and grace draw people like a magnet. Dick Lucas, longtime pastor at St Helen’s Bishopsgate in London, has said that in the Bible God does not give us a watertight argument so much as a watertight person against whom, in the end, there can be no argument. There is an instinctive desire in all human beings to be loved. A clear depiction of Christ’s love can attract people to want a relationship with him.

–Nathan

“WE AREN’T SURE…BUT WE AGREE”

The title above may look like a joke, but here’s the full-sentence 3^rd grade response to the question “Do people know everything in heaven?” “We aren’t sure as a group whether we will know everything, but we agree that we will know more.” This consensus came after investigating God’s word in 1 Corinthians 13:12 & Isaiah 58:8-9. What excites me about this response is that we don’t have to know everything to know enough. We are called to be ready to “give a reason for the hope you have” (1 Peter 3:15), but there are vast oceans of knowledge that we don’t know. On the other hand, I am constantly amazed by how much truth God reveals about himself and his purposes. Here’s the overview of what we learned in the Jumble last Sunday. Take some time to ask your students what they are learning and to share with them what the Lord is teaching you.

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WHY DO WE READ THE BIBLE?

1) JESUS HAS THE WORDS OF LIFE -John 6:67-68

2) JESUS OFTEN QUOTED THE SCRIPTURES & CAME TO FULFILL THEM -Matthew 4:1-10

3) JESUS COMMANDED HIS DISCIPLES TO OBEY HIS TEACHING  -Matthew 28:19-20

4) THE EARLY DISCIPLES STUDIED SCRIPTURE AND THE DISCIPLES TEACHING – Acts 2:42

5) THE ENTIRE BIBLE IS ABOUT GOD’S SALVATION IN JESUS – Luke 24:25-27, Hebrews 1:1-1

6) ALL SCRIPTURE IS FOR OUR BENEFIT- 2 Tim. 3:16-17 , 2 Peter 3:15-16

7) WE ARE RESPONSIBLE TO SHARE THE GOOD NEWS  – Romans 10:14-15, 2 Timothy 2:1-2

8) GOD’S WORD IS OUR OFFENSIVE WEAPON AGAINST OUR ADVERSARY– Ephesians 6:17

9) IT’S GOD’S TOOL TO STRENGTHEN US, HEAL US, AND MAKE US LIKE HIM – Hebrews 4:12

 

–Nathan

ANGER IS GOOD

This parenting tip comes from the book “Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character In You and Your Kids” by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. More tips available by signing up at www.biblicalparenting.org.

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Parents get angry, but anger isn’t always bad. In fact, parents often get angry when children are doing something wrong. It’s best to view anger as a flag, created by God, that says, “Something is wrong here.” The something wrong may be an unrealistic expectation on the parent’s part, but it’s often a problem in the child that needs attention. Disobedience, selfishness, arguing, and bickering are just a few of the things that make parents angry. Anger can be a tool to point out problems in life.

 

The danger comes when parents use anger to solve problems. That’s when people get hurt, relationships become strained, and distance is the inevitable result. It’s one thing to see those muddy shoes on the floor. It’s yet another thing to start yelling at your son.

We say that anger is good for identifying problems but not good for solving them. That’s the conclusion we’ve come to after looking at several Bible passages related to anger. James 1:19-20 and Ephesians 4:26-31, for example, show two sides of anger. On the one hand they warn strongly against it, but on the other hand, anger isn’t prohibited but is limited.

So the next time you feel angry, stop for a moment, thank the Lord for revealing a problem, try to figure out what it is, and then go back into the situation with a constructive plan for solving it. This will take practice but children provide many opportunities to develop more Godly patterns in anger management.

–Nathan

FOLLOW ME

Because I love you, I occasionally pass on some beautiful devotional reflections from my wise better half. For more inspiring thoughts from a wife/mother/teacher/artist/saint, investigate Rita’s blog. You will be better for it. Here’s a recent post for your encouragement.

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 Mediocre.

 Some days, I feel mediocre at best. Mediocre mom, mediocre wife, mediocre teacher, mediocre musician…

 On Saturday, as I prepared some music for a Sunday wedding, I felt mediocre. This was to be the wedding of two stellar musicians, with stellar musical families and friends, and I was trying to improvise love songs off lead sheets the day before.

 I arrived at church on Sunday still feeling mediocre. Seeing another woman, due in September two days after me, looking tall, skinny, and stunning, reminded me of my mediocrity. Listening to the worship team on the stage added to that feeling. I was slowly and unknowingly sinking into a tar pit from which I could have difficulty escaping, if not for Simon, called Peter.

 Simon Peter, a mediocre, fiery, impetuous fisherman, who always seemed to say the wrong thing.

 Simon Peter, called by Jesus to be one of the Twelve. And even the Twelve couldn’t help but fight for supremacy, wanting to be the best disciple, the greatest in the kingdom, the most-loved of Jesus. (See Mark 10:35-44)

 Simon Peter, who denied Jesus three times, after he had boasted that he would NEVER leave Jesus’s side.

 Yet Jesus still said to Simon Peter after His resurrection, “Follow me. Follow me even to your death.” Peter, still very much his mediocre self, responded with, “Lord, what about that guy, John?”

 Jesus’s answer? It’s not about John, or Luke, or any other disciple. It’s about you and your love for me. You must follow me. (See John 21:21-22)

 And that was how I was called out of my tar pit, called to be like Simon Peter– not to be the best, not to boast and compare– called to follow, today, tomorrow, the next day, down my own path, whether I feel mediocre or not.

–-Nathan